Random Ramblings

I am trying to pack for Cambodia. Can you even call it packing? More like throwing a few pairs of shorts, tops, some underwear, and my toothbrush into my backpack. I also had to exchange my sing money for US money because apparently that's what they go for in Cambodia. It was weird to see US money again. Whenever I hold one of those green dolla bills I feel like I'm carrying gold. Especially in Vietnam.

This past week, ever since I went to Vietnam, I have been so tired, as if a bus hit me. Then the driver reversed and ran over me again. My hypothesis is that it is from many many many too many countless nights of going out. Oh and southeast asia country hopping. Running every morning. School. Ok well more like feeling the pressure-of-school and not doing too much about it. Sometimes everything seems surreal, like it is all a dream.. I'm not really in Singapore, living this crazy lifestyle. But then I look over and see my I Love Bali t-shirt...My plane ticket stubs...My Singapore ID card...12 different types of currency sitting on the table...and I know this aint no dream baby!

I must be honest though. I'm definitely enjoying every second here. But I'm people-sick. No, not homesick, but people-sick. I want to make that clear. Because there is a difference. Feels like I haven't seen my mom in 10 years. Yet she looks 10 years younger...it must be the long shiny mane she is growing out. Or my little poochie, who I'm sure is taller than me now. I miss my BFF, emphasis on the B (you know who you are!)...and manny...who i adore....and heather and brieanna.. and my mel ho. But I'll see them all very soon. It is only a matter of time. I just hope they all have the patience to deal with my reverse culture shock. ie What's that? That's a fork, Renee. What's that? That's a toilet seat cover. What's that? That's a white person.. ha jk. But you know, things like that.

Today I needed some time alone. I find I really need that, no matter if I'm at home or here. But especially here because I feel like I am incessantly surrounded by friends. Which I love, but sometimes I just need to be alone. Went for a walk with my ipod to canteen A to grab some dinner. I really want to like canteen 9. But every time after I eat there I feel like I want to throw up. I think it may be from seeing the worker cooks chopping up their vegetables on some wooden block in the back alley. Or maybe it was because there was the hair in my food, that the lady scooped out and put a new spoonful of vegetables to replace it. Perhaps I should eat their nasi goreng. But after eating it for literally every meal in Bali..I just can't bear any more of it. But I swear I am going to go through withdrawal without cant A's hot sauce. This hot sauce blows Sriracha out of the water. Anyways, after I ate, near the random Indian businessmen...and the random Chinese businessmen... who I hope are professors but who knows? I took the bus to JP to grab some last minute essentials before I leave in the morning. Like some US money.. and some fruit and crackers for the trip.. and a backpack. I still have no clue why I didn't bring my backpack here..

For the first time, Fairprice wasn't crowded. I thought I was in the wrong store at first. No one was running into me. No random smells of people rushing by. No looooooong lines down the aisles? Huh? I was shocked and confused. No loud buzz of chinese chatter. But I smelt the durian and knew I was in the right place (I think I just threw up).

I had a minor heart attack yesterday. When I found out that grad schools will be looking at my grades here at NTU. Which I hope won't be straight D's. Especially since I got my first D on a college quiz that I have EVER gotten in my life! And I promise will be the last, because the feeling of uneasiness and disappointment and failure was way too much for me to handle. San Diego Renee almost had a heart attack..So I signed on to Web Portal, to check my transcript. It took me about 10 minutes to remember what the hell my Red ID number was. Or what it was a Red ID was for that matter. Then I checked out all the classes I need to take next semester...checked my grades...stuff like that. It made me feel a bit better, but not much.

So the moral of this long, pointless, rambling story featuring my complaints and whining about my NTU grades is that I need to stop slacking and get my school act together. And study. Much more. And stop saying that and then not following through! Because it is just causing way too much stress for me. How students don't care about school and grades and college is beyond me. I tried it for about 3 months and now am freaking out. It's the cognitive dissonance talking here..

Anyways, I need to finish my Vietnam stories and put them up, before I forget them all. Which I do believe would be an even greater disappointment than getting straight D's.